Unhucking Believable...

When Mike Huckabee dies, the authorities are going to have to post a 24-hour vigiliant watch on his grave…because he will try to claw his way out. Or, more trendily, as the opening segment of the direct-to-DVD Futurama movie Bender's Big Score declared about the series: "It Just Won't Stay Dead!"

Following days of glowing coverage by the media, replete with headlines about how "the path [was] clear for McCain" and the sobriquet "presumptive nominee" was placed in front of his name, three states went out and voted on Saturday. The results were a shocking indictment (again) of the media's obsession with declaring Mike Huckabee dead. The voters of Kansas, Washington State, and Louisiana delivered enough of an electric shock to get the campaign breathing again.

Despite being an avid Huckabee supporter, I've often—to quote President Bush—"misunderestimated" the staying power of Governor Huckabee. Polls showed no more than four states in Huckabee's pocket in the run-up to Super Tuesday, with Alabama and Georgia turning away toward McCain. When I did phone calls the Monday before Super Tuesday, I spoke to a man in Alabama who said that he preferred Huckabee to McCain, but Huckabee's numbers were turning south, and he didn't want Romney to end up winning.

Well, Huckabee's numbers were turning South all right, he ended up sweeping the region. And last night, the governor's campaign proved that they could remain competitive outside of the Midwest and South by very nearly upsetting John McCain in Washington State (not the most evangelical of states, by any stretch of the imagination).

As we look toward the Potomac Primary this Tuesday, I can only repeat the mantra that I have learned by experience. Every time Mike Huckabee gets counted out, he shows us that he seems to have a Methuselahan approach to dying.

Happy (Belated) New Year, Iowa Reaction, Zac tries to be Ed Rollins

Well, thanks to finals/Christmas/and my grandmother's 90th birthday party out in the Rocky Mountain West, I haven't really had a chance to update the ol' Huckablog.

And a hell of a lot has happened!

The most common refrain I've been hearing from folks since Iowa has been compliments on having "called it" way back in March of 2007. (And, frankly, I'm a little scared that I actually managed to perform a good political prognostication! I kid, I kid.)

But now that Huckabee has won Iowa, there's more to be done. In tonight's Fox News debate, I think Huck defended himself with grace and wit against a stunning attack by Fred Thompson, who delivered a fusillade of negativity in the Governor's direction without any fact-checking. I particularly enjoyed it when Thompson denounced the Governor for wanting to ban smoking. Huckabee supports banning smoking on public property, something even someone who enjoys a fine cigar now and then like myself can support.

Huckabee had an excellent point about how high the standards are now for conservatives running for office. And he's right that Reagan raised taxes in California, and I'm sure it wouldn't matter how much Governor Reagan would talk about tax cuts, there would undoubtedly be elements of the GOP opposed to him for "not being small government enough."

One thing that concerns me about FDT's attacks are that Thompson will be pouring multitudes of cash into TV ads in South Carolina in an attempt to present Huckabee as a tax-hiking, soft-on-crime liberal. Never mind that FDT's biggest legislative accomplishment was probably voting to extend the lunch hours of the Senate cafeteria so he could get a nap after his sandwich (and to pre-empt any Fred Heads, yes, I know he created the Department of Homeland Security...and...and...).

We'll have to see if Huck and Co. can drum up any more brilliant one-shot ads (such as the Chuck Norris or Christmas pieces) which can break through the wall of Frediness as assuredly as they knocked down Romney in Iowa. He'll also have to find a way to blunt McCain's post-NH surge in South Carolina polling.

Here's my take:

FADE IN

On the floor of the United States Senate. Desks are toppled over, papers are strewn everywhere.

VOICE OVER: Some folks arrive in Washington, and they really make a mess of things. They vote against tax cuts in hard times when people need more money in their pockets. Or maybe, they just don't seem to do much at all.

Mike Huckabee, dressed in a black suit with a red-tie, walks in through the center aisle. As Huckabee walks past the desks and papers, they right themselves, papers falling into order. After a beat or two, Huckabee has arrived near the front of the room, with just one row of desks in disarray.

MIKE HUCKABEE: We've had too much of Beltway insiders dictating terms to those of us who have done all we can to defend conservatism at the grassroots. It's time for a change. It's time to stand resolute for our core values: low taxes, defending freedom at home and abroad, and protecting unborn life. Not all of the candidates have always stood for those values, but I have.

Huckabee walks forward. The front row of desks reassembles. He turns around to view the room (and the camera pans so we see Huck's profile) and smiles.

VOICE OVER (with title card): Mike Huckabee. Proven Leader. Authentic Conservative.

Some Quality Late Night Time With Movie Maker...

Produced this! Et voici!



Feel free to share.

Also, a little bit of MS Paint (yes, yes, I don't want to steal Photoshop, so I use lowly MS Paint) got me this with an assist from MagMyPic...



In Huckiness,
Zac

Mike Huckabee and the 1997 Pittsburgh Pirates.

It was just a few weeks ago that I was arguing with my friends that Governor Huckabee belonged in the First-and-One-Half Tier of Republican candidates.

So much is changing, so fast.

This summer, there was no Huckabee campaign, as we knew it. Everyone was waiting on Fred Thompson, everyone was still waiting for the 80 percent of GOP voters who thought Giuliani was pro-life to come around, and John McCain was still the most viable candidate.

The most common remark I heard when pressing the case for Huckabee in Orange County was that "He'd make a great Vice President." Folks would accept that, yes, Huckabee was the most likable of the bunch, he was the most solidly conservative when he came to pivotal social issues like abortion, and that they would love to support him...if only he had more money.

It was a vicious Catch-22. Where would Huckabee get this money...if not from these admirers?

Now, GOP voters are in the sweltering winter of the religious right's discontent. (Yes, yes, a blatant MLK rip-off...) Simply put, Huckabee's budget is less of a problem now that there's nobody left. And besides, a victory in Iowa is worth millions and millions in free advertising and as the media has dutifully reported...more than half of the President's 2004 donor base has not given a dime.

I have a friend who supports Huckabee and believes that he is the "lesser of eight evils". With no George Allen, no Jeb Bush, and no Reaganesque bits coming via Freddie Dalton, many Christian voters have decided to voice their choice...not accept the condescending attitudes of Rudy ("I'm not with you on abortion, but vote for me and you just might get Justice Number Five") or Romney, who seems to think that as long as he apes all the right words, then conservatives will flock to him no matter what his record says.

Today, Mike Huckabee surpassed Mayor Rudy Giuliani in Rasmussen's deadly accurate polling for the 2008 Republican Presidential nomination.

Mike Huckabee's campaign reminds me of the 1997 Pittsburgh Pirates...they had less of a payroll than Albert Belle made that season ($10 million), and they were expected to lose at least 100 games. But they stayed in the race for the NL Central all season long.

This time around though, I think the '97 Pirates just might win it all.

Vote Your Values!

The ever talented Chris Brooks of the George Washington University College Republicans passed this gem over to me.

A simple, short, effective way to illustrate how the compassionate wing of the Republican Party feels this way around. Click on the screenshot to play (YouTube embedding is causing a problem somehow).


In Huckiness,
Zac

Wherein Zac Goes Slightly Insane...

For a touch of the absurd, I give thee:

The 2008 Presidential Candidate's Theme Songs
(Note: Please take with a glass of humor.)

Mike Huckabee: "Hip to Be Square" by Huey Lewis and the News.

I like my bands in business suits,
I watch them on TV,
I'm working out most everyday,
And watching what I eat.

Joe Biden: "Ramblin' Man" by the Allman Brothers

Lord, I was born a ramblin' man,
Tryin' to make a livin' and doin' the best I can.
And when its time for leavin',
I hope you'll understand,
That I was born a ramblin man.

Rudy Giuliani: "Have You Forgotten?" by Daryl Worley

Have you forgotten, how it felt that day,
To see your homeland under fire,
And her people blown away,
Have you forgotten?

John McCain: "Bomb Iran" by Vince Vance and the Vandals

Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran,
Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran.
Bomb Iran. Let's take a stand, bomb Iran.
Our country's got a feelin'
Really hit the ceiling,
Bomb Iran.

John Edwards: "It Ain't Right" by John Fogerty

There go your big black limousine,
Shakin' your booty for the magazine,
Pickin' and posing like a wannabe
It ain't right, It ain't right.

Ron Paul: "Breakfast at Tiffany's" by Deep Blue Something

You'll say, we've got nothing in common,
No common ground to start from,
And we're falling apart,
You'll say, the world has come between us,
Our lives have come between us,
Still I know you just don't care.

Dennis Kucinich: "Unwell" by Matchbox 20

All day,
Staring at the ceiling,
Making friends with shadows on my wall.
All night,
Hearing voices tellin' me,
That I should get some sleep,
Because tomorrow might be good for something.

Chris Dodd: "Swagger" by Flogging Molly

Don't know where I'm goin',

Don't know where I'm goin'.

Why Not Huck?

While floating on my raft through the Beltway these past few weeks, I've noticed a rather odd trend of ostensibly Christian conservative groups siding with Republican candidates who do not--to put it mildly--stand for the compassionate Christian political agenda.

From Pat Robertson's handshake with the pro-abortion Rudy Giuliani, to the California Republican Assembly's surprisingly strong endorsement of Mitt Romney, to the leaked announcement that Fred Thompson will be endorsed by the National Right to Life Committee...it seems that social conservatives are stumbling all over themselves to back the so-called front runners in the Republican field.

The absurdity of the Reverend Robertson's endorsement of Giuliani (which Rudy apologists defend on the merits that President Giuliani will appease pro-lifers by appointing justices who disagree with Rudy's reading of the Constitution) has been discussed to no end in the blogosphere, the MSM, the water cooler at my office and discussions with my roommate (GWU's Student for Chris Dodd).

But what about the pro-life movement's decision to embrace Federalist Fred?

Now, I'm not one of those who will go out on a limb and argue that Freddie Dalton is pro-abortion himself, but Thompson's past statements, in 1994, 1996 and the times he's been sighted on the campaign trail in '08, all line up to show that the good Senator is not amenable to federal laws banning abortion and he knocked the pro-life movement by accusing us of wanting to criminalize young girls as murderers and her doctor and parents as aiders and abettors.

No doubt, from a pro-life perspective, Senator Thompson's record is preferable to Rudy's or Romney's, but why is the Huckster being frozen out by the NRLC?

Even Huckabee foes will admit that the Governor's anti-abortion stance is firm and clear. This week, Thompson and the Club for Growth's Pat Toomey took shots at the Guv by calling him a "pro-life liberal". Mike Huckabee has a long, strong record on the life issue, and certainly deserves the official nod of the head by the anti-abortion lobby--at least more than a man who would be okay with fifty different standards for when abortion is illegal or not.